Sux, Drugs, and Fush and Chups

Okay, so apparently I have a bit of an accent. Well, at least I am being teased about it these days. In an effort to “feet-een” (yeah, right pull your head in), I have occasionally managed to collect one particular Auss-ism, “no worries” where we in Kiwiland would use “no problems”, or more likely “sweet as”. The Aussies I have mentioned this to, reckon they actually prefer “sweet as” because it has a positive take.

I must admit to not noticing the Aussie accent most of the time any more unless is it the really Bogan variety which believe it or not, actually comes out with “growse” on occasion. Yep, that was “growse” you just read, it is not just put on for the telly, some people here really do use it. Or should that be “youse” as in “youse Kiwis have strange accents”.

“Darl” is another one, applied mostly by cute young shop assistants inquiring “how you doing there darl?” They are not as pushy as the Kiwi variety of shop assistant. The Aussie breed take the hint to leave you be for a moment or two but keep an eye out in case you want them to come back. Try shooing a Kiwi shop assistant away and she retreats in a huff never to be seen again, a sale lost on her. Incidentally, I have found the way to cope with the overwhelming onslaught of shopping malls – headphones playing soothing music of my choice. The raucous screaming of kids still “reeally does get een” but at least their nasal noise is masked by lulling tones.

These days too, I sit on the train or tram and not only do I recognise the names of the places I am passing but I now know how to pronounce them in 'Stryne. Moorabbin, Nunawading, Kooyong, Tooronga, Maribynong, these are all loosely Aborigine words pronounced by the Europeans as they are written. The curious ones are the English names based on people or places in England where the Aussies say it differently to us Kiwis. For instance Northcote is Northc'te, Darebin is said Dara-bin and then there are the just plain odd suburbs called Rosanna, Dennis, Merri, Moonee Ponds, and Darling. I want to live in a place I can call Darling, I think. It would be great to say that your home was just Darling, wouldn't it?

I am being re-educated apparently like some sort of mind control. My diet lately has been Aussie Melbourne music, namely Paul Kelly's early hits hankering for St Kilda while in Kings Cross and the marvellous song “To her door” which, wah-hey, mentions the no-hoper husband staying at The Nunnery while he sobers up. Yay, Go The Nunnery!

I've also been put on a nutrition plan of Aussie TV shows like “The Games”. Yeah right, who are you kidding, the main actor is John Clarke who must I remind everyone was Fred Dagg when he started out in New Zealand. Even the film “Death in Brunswick” which was set just up the road from me, stars John Clarke again and – Sam Neill! Don't even think about claiming our Sam you wicked Roos or you will have My Mum to reckon with!