They Must Be Giants

I have come not to the Land not of Oz but of Lilliputt where I feel dwarfed by the insects. I kid ye not, the creepy crawlies in this town are Big Mothers and the folk ‘round these parts simply shrug at my squeamishness and say, “just be grateful you ain’t in Queensland darl. That’s where the real nasty buggers hang out.” Oh gee, thanks for the reassuring comfort.

Met me a Red Back spider the other day and while it didn’t look all that large, I hear that they are sneaky sods and – yeah reasonably poisonous. I mean, apparently they won’t kill ya, not unless you are a cat or allergic to them but still, a nip from one of these purdy critters will I’m told, make you mighty sick for a few days.

The harmless arachnid type that I did meet not that long ago was a Huntsman. Well two actually. The first was just a baby but in my mind it was still big to eat a hamster. Now, I am arachnophobic but I can handle the creepy crawlie as long as I can trap it in a glass and release it into the wild where let’s face it, it belonged in the first place! So this ‘baby’, yeah it technically came under that heading. Its big brother, rudely not formally introduced to me in the toilet one morning not so long after was a different story. The size of my fist I’m looking at it looking back at me with multiple beady eyes and my mind starts screaming…I don’t have a glass big enough for this one. If I’d met Big Daddy I’m assured, a pint beer glass would not have contained the body let alone the legs jammed under the rim. But they are harmless friendly spiders. Yeah right! They can scare small children with a cocky three-eyed wink but they will not kill ya.

Ants…twice the size of Kiwi cousins and the bigguns will nip you if you let ‘em. Beetles…big as bottle tops or a fifty cent piece without the bevelled edges. Cicadas…I haven’t actually seen one but I’ve heard them in the trees and they sound like they would definitely get stuck in a bird’s throat. Maybe that explains the mean look in the raven’s eye and the squawking caw they make. All in all, a land of giants.