Kiwi Tourists Hat the Town

Debbie and I became Sunday tourists, joining the throngs of people on Southbank and Federation Square for Spring Fashion Week. We were tempted to take a ride on the tourist shuttle or one of the horse drawn carriages but thought it best not to go overboard. Instead I introduced Debbie to the Arts Centre Market. She has been living here about six months now but when you work five days a week and spend part of the weekend doing chores at home, it isn't as easy to get around discovering the city as it is when you have whole days and weeks at your disposal like me. She is amazed at the places I have explored and the people I have talked to on my travels so today I became her tour guide and we goofed around taking silly photos at the State Library, St Paul's Cathedral and the Crowne Towers, places I had already visited and wanted to her to see.

The main focus of our trip into town though was to attend one of the free Spring Fashion Week activities, a talk on 'Hat wearing etiquette' at the Champions Racing Museum. Debbie intends to go to her first Melbourne Cup in November and wants to make a hat to wear. She has a bit of thing for hats.

The flamboyant Austrian Waltraud Reiner of Torb and Reiner milliners wound me up in a ribboned spell of feathers and gauze with her talk on hatiquette. She had a delightful way of telling me that big hats would not suit my small face.

“If you want to wear a big hat with flowers and feathers,” she flapped at me. “Then hold a tea party in your garden with your dollies and best china. Release your romance there in cream lace, wide brims and roses but don't wear the hat in public on the street for people to say 'hello who's that hiding under there?'"

Waltraud's advice to Debbie is become a left tilter not a Raggedy Andy and think big not pimple chapeau. Debbie modeled the hats for the class and Waltraud demonstrated that she should angle her brimmed hats jauntily to the left rather than planting them on the back of her head like an Oklahoma barn dance. She also advised not to wear a hat that looked like a dollop demonstrating how unflattering it was as Debbie grinned like a Cheshire cat underneath the feathers. It was a bit of afternoon fun.

Other gems from Waltraud were to accessorise black days with colour “like a rosella in a naked winter tree” and listen for your inner 'ah'. This is the reaction that your gut should make as you place the perfect millinery creation on your head.

“If your body says 'ah' then don't talk yourself out of the hat. Likewise if is says 'oh' don't make a purchase you will regret. You have to be comfortable in your choice.”

Waltraud's very sensibly advice regarding hats is just as relevant to the rest of life.

“If you buy these amazing knickers but they spend all their time lodged up your crotch, you won't wear them.” So true and the sound pearls of life and millinery wisdom continued.

“Everything must come from the inside out when you buy a hat. You are just fine as you are so find the hat that works with you and you will be happy with it. I can dance on the table wearing this one and it stays on just fine.” Thanks Waltraud now I feel liberated for some table dancing in my hat.